Sunday, March 20, 2016

One Day You'll Come Into My World And Say It All

it's 4.20am 😶

i don't know what to do at this hour. usually i would be Whatsapp-ing with my boyfriend but since he already fall asleep, i have no one to talk to so.. blogging it is.

i can't think about a specific topic to ramble about, so i'm just gonna tell you some random stuff about myself.. as if anyone would ever give a shit lewls anyway let's do that. here we go:

1) i'm a heavy caffeine consumer. you can take me to the most fancy place with colourful beverages everywhere but no matter what i'm still gonna look for coffee

2) i don't think i have a particular favourite colour. but i tend to buy things that are either black, brown, grey, dark blue or moss

3) my ultimate dreams are to ride a lion and cuddle with cubs

4) i like dancing. i'm not really that good but i'm definitely not bad. i've been joining aerobic/zumba class for weeks now and it's probably one of the best decisions i've ever made in my life

5) i keep pictures of random people. it's either because i love their outfits and i'd like to keep them as inspiration, or because i secretly adore their features, or because the person had some sort of connection with me i.e. my bf's ex hahahah creepy ain't i?

6) i'm a big morning eater. huge meals like nasi lemak with chicken, mushroom soup with garlic bread, scrambled eggs with sausages, cereals with milk.. they turn me on

7) my current life goal is to be completely happy with my own self. all my life i've been complaining about my physical flaws (dark skin, acnes and scars, skinny body) and it gradually destroys my confidence. right now i'm teaching myself to look past all these insecurities and just learn to accept them

8) my palms sweat so much urgh so disgustingggg it makes me feel uncomfortable when people try to hold my hand and i'm like NOoooOoOoo

9) i hate drinking plain water (which probably the main cause for all these health and skin problems) but i still try to force myself though. the best i can do so far.. two small bottles per day. hey at least there's an improvement, right? riggghtt?

10) whenever i eat, my stomach gets full quickly due to its limited capacity. but i get hungry just as quickly too. so i usually buy extra food because i know i would need that for later

11) honestly i can't remember much about my high school life. all i remember was, those two years were so terrible, i suffered emotionally so much (a lot of crying, and i isolated myself from everyone because bad things happened and they made me realize that i can't trust anyone). however i can't say i regret going there because that's where i met my boyfriend

12) speaking about my boyfriend, did you know that we barely knew each other when one night he suddenly approached me and asked me to be his girlfriend?

13) i'm such a keeper. i keep so many stuff just for the sake of their memories, such as letters that boys used to send to me during primary school years hahahah

14) music helps me a lot during tough times. i'd be so pleased if someone knows what songs that i listen to

15) i want to keep dogs as pet but of course i can't  :(  :(  :(  i keep so many pictures of dogs in my phone album hahahah

16) i like fruits. my favourites are banana and mango

17) i used to consume a large portion of junk food everyday. but i'm trying to cut down all these unhealthy stuff since i've started to experience hair loss hukhuk don't want to be bald at 30

18) i really wish i could do braids. i've managed to do once on my fringed handbag. but on actual hair, nay. gotta start practising before getting married. i mean, braids would look pretty on daughters, right?

19) i don't know what am i doing with my life, really. i'm struggling to finish my degree (struggle is not a precise word to be used in my case, honestly, because i don't spend much time on studies as much as my colleagues do) but deep down, i know that this course i'm taking is totally not for me. the only reason i'm here is because it's the only offer that i got when the UPU result came out on 2013. i guess it's too late to change my mind now, but i'm planning to start my own business soon. may Allah ease!

20) my Maths skill is very embarrassing, i'm not even joking

21) i would definitely choose seafood over chicken

22) any drinks consisting milk and tea make my stomach upset

23) i'm so jealous of other girls of my age who can pull off feminine looks. i can never imagine myself wearing ruffled, flared clothes with diamond beads

24) mom taught me to not spend too much on things since i was a kid, so until now, i see things over RM50 as expensive

25) remember the trio of The Powerpuff Girls? i like Buttercup the most

26) i like the smell of vanilla in perfumes

27) i tend to get grumpy when things don't go as planned

28) i'm super protective over what belongs to me. i don't like sharing my boyfriend and close friends

29) i love admiring the sky, and the sea

30) i don't give a fuck about trends. i like being myself, no matter how outdated i would look like in other's eyes

31) maybe i'm boring but i'd rather be that instead of being ridiculous, posting stuff like "kipidap dongibab" everywhere

32) to me, using 'busy' as an excuse for not keeping in touch with your loved ones is bullshit. you'd always have time for someone if s/he is truly important to you

33) i don't mind going anywhere alone

34) i always feel like a loser. because at 22 i still barely know anything about loans, insurance, bills. y'know, real life stuff. i wish they'd teach important things like these in school instead of pythagoras theorem

35) i suffer from migraine and menorrhagia. sometimes my period comes twice per month, ranging from 12-15 days with heavy bleeding throughout the first week. imagine how painful the menstrual pain is for me

36) people always ask me how do i keep my tummy flat all the time. my answer is, frequent pooping. i visit the toilet 2 to 5 times per day, no kidding

37) once i started to truly like a celebrity, i will dig every stories, every interviews, every single thing about them. for examples; 5SOS, Justin Bieber, 1D, PewDiePie

38) never believe the media

39) i like dressing up. it's just a way of expressing myself to people

40) if my mood swings, take me to Baskin Robbins

41) my boyfriend once pointed out that i am such a perfectionist. i guess he's right. i hate seeing things being done unmannerly

42) i tend to say mean things when i get super angry. and i get angry a lot

43) i don't give forgiveness easily, and i never forget things that others did to me

44) i like decisive guys who can take control of stuff and friendly to elder folks. i like maturity. it's hard to find that quality in guys these days

45) the idea of marriage is fascinating, but to be honest, it scares me more than anything

46) my handwriting sucks

47) i like playing sports. too bad my life revolves around girls who hate sports

48) it's so hard to find someone who have the same interests as yours

49) it amazes me to see best friends that constantly check on each other privately. i mean, not only after when you see that friend tweeting his/her problem out. in most cases people don't really care about you, they just want something to gossip about. so, again, genuine friendship amazes me

50) i'm scared of things that might cause physical pain, regardless its level of intensity. is there such thing as fear of pain? idk

51) i collect makeup. i like having different types of brands and i'm quite worried since it's becoming the reason for my thinning purse

52) it's difficult to find clothes that actually fit my size. seeing clothes that i like being tagged 'free size' breaks my heart

53) sleepless nights are the worst. they remind you of unwanted stuff

54) i can't tolerate animal cruelty

55) i've seen ghosts

56) i find learning new language is hard

57) i wish i had someone that i can take with everywhere i go to take my pictures hahahahah so diva

58) phone calls scare me, don't have explanation for that

59) i don't fell asleep easily so when i do, i get so mad if anyone interrupts or tries to wake me up

60) most people don't know that i still blog every now and then. even more people don't even know i have a blog hahahah