Saturday, October 31, 2015

It Will Never Change, Me and You

hey there.

i've been on a long hiatus and surprisingly this blog still get visitors dropping by every now and then even though there's nothing new here. i actually attempted to write, like, few weeks ago but i stopped halfway because there's so much going on i don't even know where to start. but here i am again tonight and i'll sum up what happened  since the past few months.

so.. for those who've been following my stories, you might know that i've been at the absolute lowest point in my life. i was under severe depression where at some points i even start to think that life isn't worth living anymore. but after numerous nights of crying myself to sleep, i finally got the strength to get back on my feet again.. and the person who made that happen, was the same person who broke my heart in the first place.

he came back into my life in early June this year. we got back together not long after that. i still couldn't believe it myself. i have to admit, it feels so awkward whenever people ask me why did i give him another chance after all the pain he caused me. why would i want to take back someone who walked out on me. honestly i don't even have the answer to that. the only thing i know is i'm still in love with him. but being someone who doesn't forgive and forget easily, it's frustratingly hard to start all over again. you know that you still love that person but the trust you once put in him will never return. not ever in the same way, at least. 

we've been separated for nearly a half-year, so much things have changed within that period, including us. it took quite some time for me to cope with things. i need 'proofs' to 'verify' that he genuinely wants and needs me. long story short, it's been four months since that, and i can finally say that i am happy where i am right now. we still quarrel about our 'old scars' but other than that, things are going really well between us.

i finally feel like i'm home again.